Brandwidth Blog

Or to be grammatically correct, Things For Which I’m Thankful. This time of year engenders and in fact demands this kind of reflection and, with the exception of just a really good excuse to gorge oneself into a tryptophan coma, is the actual reason for the holiday, believe it or not. So out of respect for Christopher Columbus (or whomever), Pocahontas (the historical figure not the really hot Disney character), my mother’s own looney notion that Plymouth Rock is a fake, John Smith, Chief Powhatan, funny hats and shoes and generations upon generations of dead turkeys, I offer the following things for which I’m thankful this thanksgiving:
1. My patient wife
2. The opposable thumb
3. Memories. All of them.
4. Ice Cream
5. Thongs
6. X-Box
7. Ibuprophen (especially where visiting clients from Seattle are concerned)
8. Malbec
9. The Steelers
10. Smart, engaged, innovative and daring client partners
11. Smart, engaged, innovative, daring and talented associates here at BW
12. The BMW 3 year/50,000 mile free service policy
13. Resphigi
14. Disinfectant wipes
15. Black Licorice
16. Bo, John and Chris finally getting The Bistro live. It’s a joy.
17. Our amazing resource partners (thanks Michelle, Jeff, Dan, Diane and David and everyone else)
18. The zipper
19. Guinness Stout (the real thing, not the Americanized draft version)
20. Paris
21. My beautiful and accomplished son
22. Zip ties
23. The gas stove
24. My grandfather’s notions of right and wrong
25. Blue Ray
26. The Klipsch company
27. Fire extinguishers
28. The Onion
29. My highly disfunctional, laughter filled, love filled family
30. Making it to the end of our first year relatively unscathed
31. Adam Aloicious Hayes
32. Lao Tsu
33. The internal combustion engine
34. Single use needles
35. Seedless watermelon
36. Cranberries
37. Friends old and new and far and wide.
38. Chuck Kinder
39. Kenneth Patchen
40. A good meerschaum pipe
41. The progression of the industry to true one-to-one marketing
42. Beethoven’s 6th Symphony
43. Match.com
44. Dimples
45. That I didn’t take the ACD job at Bozell in Dallas
46. That I did take the job at ASA
47. Kenya AA
48. Necco Wafers
49. Thongs
50. Black shirts

I’m a football fan in general. A Steelers fan in particular (much to the chagrin of neighbors and friends here in Indianapolis). I played the game a little so I know the sport. I know my team. As an avid Fantasy Football participant, I also know a great deal about everyone else’s team. What’s more, I’m not alone - heck our account manager Danielle knows more about football than Dave Calabro, a local sports “personality.” Okay, so he is by far the single worst sports person I’ve ever seen in my life (though being from a real sports town like Pittsburgh, I’m probably pretty spoiled). It doesn’t change the fact that Danielle knows more about football than Dave Calabro does.

Bottom line…I enjoy watching a good game and I know my s%!t. So…

…why do FoxSports and CBS and NBC and ESPN treat me like a freakin’ idiot? Do I really need an anthropomorphic gladiator bot to reveal the damn Prilosec play clock? Do I need a CG explosion to usher in the Kwell Instant Replay? Do I need those damn blue and yellow lines to show me where the ball is and where it needs to go? Do I need Industrial Light And Magic to inform me that it’s time for the Progressive Insurance Crunch Time two-minute warning? Do I need the combined forces of the London Symphony and the Moron Tabernacle Choir to cue me that Mike Tomlin has thrown the red challenge flag? And do I really need that annoyingly condescending and stupid on-field graphic to remind me it’s 3rd and 9? I KNOW IT’S 3rd AND 9 – I’M WATCHING THE f*%$ng GAME!

Why oh why has a football broadcast become the gridiron equivalent of FOXNews - playing to the lowest common denominator; the most stupid among us; the 21% who support GW? Won’t anyone give at least some of us a little credit?

The answer to that question, it seems, is going to be no until more of us speak out. Because a football broadcast is no different from a movie (Will Farrell, check; tits, check; explosions, check; surprise ending, check). No different from an ad for Captain Morgan (I don’t know about you, but I always stand like a dog peeing on a fire hydrant when I drink my Capt’n and Coke). No different from an interview response on O’Reilly (”sending our army into harm’s way to a country that is no threat to us, having WMD that don’t exist and are no threat to you actually protects your FREEEEEEEEDOM and makes you SAAAAAAAAAFER”). Everything these days seems to be designed to not lose the stupid ones. And that’s the point of this whole blog this week. Whether you’re talking football or FOXNews or a Gecko from Oxfordshire or another formulaic hollywood slopfest, no one anywhere has the courage or cojones (balls, in case any of them are reading, too) to play to anyone BUT the lowest common denominator. Because it’s easier to sell to stupid. Costs less to sell to stupid. Requires too much thinking and effort to sell to smart. Particularly if you’re selling beer or a war of convenience. Stupid is dealt with by the media and the corporate machine and by America as the demographic majority. And that really sucks.

That doesn’t mean, however, that any of us have to actually believe it. Or acquiesce to it. And that doesn’t mean we can’t buck the trend with friends, colleagues and client partners who we’re fortunate to know and work with and who are clearly cut from a different cloth (you know who you are). I believe that the true majority of smart, practical, sentient beings is out there - potential friends, colleagues, client partners, sports announcers (still holding out hope for Mike Greenburg and Mike Golic taking over Monday Night Football) - and all wondering the same thing. Why doesn’t anyone cater to us for a change?

This is where I cue the annoying NASCAR-type pointer that shows you the car number in case you can’t read numbers upside down or sideways - or more than likely read at all. This is where I tell Joe Theisman to shut the f*%k up. This is where I scream at the top of my lungs - WE’RE RIGHT HERE! IT’S FOURTH AND ONE, STUPID. AND WE’RE GOING FOR IT!

This is where I continue to believe in - and hope for - the best.

I always look forward to my daily IBJ updates and our subsequent subscription, but in last week’s edition, there was an article about the Heartland Film Festival and the featured film Home Of The Giants that I simply have to comment on.

What I didn’t see alluded to anywhere in this story – or in any of the press this week about the festival – is how very little support (beyond Heartland), the film industry (or the broader production community/communications industry) get from the state of Indiana. In fact, the producers of Home Of The Giants wanted to shoot the film entirely in Indiana, but North Carolina offered the production millions in incentives while Indiana offered them $10,000. As a result, the film, with the exception of a couple of days of shooting exterior key locations, was shot in North Carolina. This, and the Governor’s recent veto of a film incentives bill that would have meant hundreds of millions in revenue a year (a YEAR - versus the $250 million one-time Super Bowl revenues the state fell all over itself to secure - and spent more than $1 million on in the process) is the real story behind Home Of The Giants. A story that really needs to be told since so much of the current efforts to bring production to Indiana centers around an industry that means more than $650 annually to the state (when you include commercial production, radio production, music production and corporate communications).

Indiana has one of the most respected film festivals in the nation, yet the industry as a whole gets absolutely no respect or real support from the state. That a one-time event like the Super Bowl is more important to the state than an entire industry - an industry to which we are all connected in some way shape or form – is a real shame.

For what it’s worth, Home Of The Giants is just the tip of the iceberg with regard to how myopic this state is on this particular issue – a clean industry that (no kidding) means $650 million annually in taxable revenues. Indiana has lost an additional $55 million in film business the last couple of years with films that had looked at Indiana and then went to more progressive states like New Mexico, North Carolina or Illinois. Included among the films lost is American Crime - a story about a high-profile murder in Indianapolis. The film stars Catherine Keener, it’s getting the kind of early Oscar buzz that could have lent some luster to Indiana’s production reputation and it is a uniquely Indiana story that is being told in California because the state wouldn’t support it with production incentives.

Add to this other uniquely Indiana stories that are slated to be told elsewhere, the veto of a bill that would have supported an industry whose annual contribution to the state would be 3 times that of a one-time Super Bowl windfall and a general dismissal of and disregard for an industry important to all of us, and you see how much more the IBJ could have said.

It appears the IBJ will be following up on the issue further, if the state allows. So stay tuned. And support your local film community. Visit www.imindiana.org for more details.

I swore to myself that I’d never be one of those ad guys who took off every Friday (and/or Wednesday or Thursday) to play golf. In fact, it was one of those symbolic things that to me were part of the way the agency business “used to be” in days of wretched excess and self indulgence. That, as much as the fact that I totally suck at it, was the reason I looked at our recent golf match with our friends at Liberty Business Services with something akin to mild trepidation. But they are our newest client partners - not to mention really great guys to hang with - so I resisted every temptation to have another of our client partners (and much better golfer) play in my stead and I soldiered on, removing from my bag the hybrids I can’t hit in favor of the short-to-mid irons I also can’t hit but less so.

The last time I played – with Adam and Tony from our office – I lost 38 golf balls. True story. Granted, a half dozen or so I lent to Adam, but in the final analysis, they were lost none the less as we whacked our way through the second longest golf match on record (unofficial). So perhaps you can understand my misgivings. Can you imagine playing “client golf” and actually losing legitimately! That is what I was facing in a very real sense as well as with regard to my moral imperative not to play golf as part of my business dealings. Ever.

But there are exceptions to every rule, and our match with the Liberty folks was going to be it. Just this one time, I told Adam, who actually didn’t seem to mind showing off my “game” in front of clients (Adam is, himself, a pretty good golfer).

So we hit the “links” (whatever that means) and, amazingly, something interesting happened. I only sucked a little (only losing 7 balls); we actually managed to get a little work done during the course of the day and we enjoyed some face time with a couple of guys who are really fun to spend an afternoon with (in the longest golf match in history (unofficial)). A totally enjoyable afternoon, I’m happy to report, was had by all.

Beer. Cigars. Bawdy jokes. Crashing golf carts into trees. Peeing in the woods. Spanning the globe for the constant variety of sport. Now I see what all the fuss is about. If I had known that “client golf” could be this much fun, I would have done it years ago. But as with many things, I almost let my predispositions get in the way of what was actually a thoroughly enjoyable experience. In fact, I can’t wait to go again.

Now, when the golf pro asks me what my handicap is, instead of quipping: “Isn’t it obvious?” I’m going to square my shoulders and proudly reply: “Twenty-two.” Because I’ve played my first game of client golf and I’m now officially official. I have become what I have claimed to hate the most - one of those “golfer guys.” Heck, I even bought a glove and one of those dorky sweater vest thingies. A pair of knickers and a driving cap and I’ll be set. Look out world, here I come. I am become death, destroyer of worlds!

Fore!

“Currently in second, Mark Olson in the Mundill Racing, Vectren Source Mazda 53 car.”

That was the call last Thursday during qualifying at Road Atlanta for the Star Mazda racing series. Hearing our client partner Vectren Source being announced before untold thousands – and knowing that the entire world will be seeing them on one very cool open wheel race car on SpeedTV – made the whole endeavor worth it. And an endeavor it was – two hectic weeks pulling together a car sponsorship that culminated in one exciting trip to Atlanta (Marriott ineptitude notwithstanding!).

With Atlanta being a huge market for Vectren Source, and with branding for Vectren Source being pivotal in a prospect’s decision to switch their gas service to us, the opportunity to get us in front of thousands of potential customers in Georgia - and nationwide on SpeedTV - was just too good to pass up. Even if it did require two weeks of logistical wrangling with caterers and hotels and graphics companies and car-livery-making-type-companies and sign companies and shirt-embroidery companies (thanks to Vectren Source for some extremely awesome race-team polos!) and etc. Now we all see what the fuss is about. And it was both exciting and edifying to be able to pull something this substantive together in so short a time.

We’re looking forward to seeing the results of our post-race marketing efforts, both from a viral and internet marketing standpoint and we’ll keep you posted on how things turn out over the course of the next couple of weeks. But we can confidently say that thousands and thousands of folks in Vectren Source’s footprint who didn’t have any idea who they were or that they could turn to us as their gas provider now know a lot more about Vectren Source than they did just three short days ago. With more to come this Saturday at noon. Check your local listing for details!

Oh, and Brandwidth friends also have a lot to look forward to, since the logo on the air intake of that really cool open wheel race car is our very own! I won’t spoil your viewing by giving you the results of the race. But I will tell you that if you tune in to see Vectren Source and Brandwidth get some airtime, you won’t be disappointed!

As the track announcer said following the race: “To those fans who let the threatening weather scare you off, you really missed out. And for those of you who braved the weather to watch this race, you folks got your money’s worth.”

Our only regret? I wish we had stayed in a Holiday Inn Express!

Who: Mark Olson and the Vectren Source/Brandwidth Mazda
What: The Star Mazda Championships from Road Atlanta
When: Saturday, October 13, Noon
Where: SpeedTV

True story. I know this producer – works for a great little film company in Pittsburgh – who has found an interesting way to compete for business against companies from the big production Meccas like New York, Chicago and Los Angeles. The company simply adds a line item to its bidding worksheet called: “NFR.”

Don’t bother looking for it on the AICP forms your agencies share with you as part of their production estimating process; you won’t find it (unless you’re working with a certain production company out of Pittsburgh). It stands for “No Fucking Reason,” and it’s there solely because if this great little film company doesn’t add it to the bottom line, they stand no chance of getting projects from those “precious type” agencies who seem to revel in the trendy and the spiffy and the boffo, no matter the cost to their clients. To quote my producer friend at the film company: “If I don’t add $75,000 to my bid, some of these agencies just don’t take me seriously.”

In all fairness, I must tell you that this was not conveyed to me with any sort of predatory glee. It was matter of fact, and with not a small amount of regret actually. In truth, it bothers them to have to add the NFR. But all is fair in love and war and commercial production. So they employ the NFR in order to allow their great little film company to compete in an environment in which certain agencies in certain markets simply feel some strange obligation to spend too much for broadcast production.

I guess it’s like my wife’s next pair of shoes: if they’re not expensive beyond all logic and reason, if they don’t have a certain name slapped on and if they’re not purchased in a certain store, then they can’t possibly be the real deal.

Current estimates have web marketing outpacing broadcast advertising by 2010. Personally, we feel that this is a very conservative estimate. And is it any wonder? The tracking of ROI in the web/brand response world is light years ahead of what can be garnered through traditional integrated means. And while there are still irresponsible agencies out there in the web-marketing world including their own versions of an “NFR” on their client estimates, at least the measurability and accountability of web-based solutions make it more difficult to rationalize. And get away with.

It all comes down to ROI – whether you’re doing a landing page promotion or an email marketing campaign or a full-blown integrated program that includes traditional broadcast strategies. And in this day and age, there’s “NFR” not to make ROI – and being a responsible resource partner – the foundation upon which the future of our business is built.

Everything you ever needed to know about this business can be found in the following 10 cinematic depictions of men (and women) in gray flannel suits. Not to mention the fact that you can also find some pretty funny moments. And some painful truths. Sadly, few of these films feature any of the nudity, explosions, rap songs, waifishly thin skelebabes or professional wrestlers that make Hollywood what it is today. Still, I think you can put these in your queue and enjoy. They’re not in any order of preference, so have at it and let me know if you make it through all of them.

Crazy People – Arthur meets David Ogilvy, basically, with Dudley Moore – well, Dudley Moore-ing – his way through an innovative truth –in-advertising kick. Enjoy “Volvos – Boxy But Safe” and the notion that driving a Jaguar will get you laid (NOT, by the way).

Stars: Dudley Moore, Daryl Hannah, Paul Reiser and the ubiquitous J.T. Walsh.

How To Get Ahead In Advertising – Adman Dennis Dimbleby Bagley grows a stress-related boil on his neck that comes to life. This is as close to a documentary as you’ll find about the ad game and the boil will remind you of many account people you’ve worked with.

Stars: Richard E. Grant, Rachel Ward (worth the price of admission), Richard Wilson, Jacqueline Tong and John Shrapnel, whoever he is.

Nothing In Common – “I’m Tom Hanks. Fly me.” Some good stuff with Hanks and the late, great Jackie Gleason, who plays Hanks’ dad. A nice look at how tough it can be to balance a career with an actual life. The agency will remind you of any of the “precious” poser shops you’ve had to work for.

Stars: Tom Hanks, Jackie Gleason, Eva Marie Saint (still hot), Hector Elizondo and the ever-smarmy Barry Corbin before the tragic fake tan.

Beer – Maybe the best of the lot. Spoiler: There is a presentation scene in which the account guy (aptly named “Dickler”) gets a raisin stuck up his nose. Milk will come out of yours. The whole flick centers on an agency trying to keep a brewery account. Been there. But never laughed this much losing an account. A quirky cast makes this a must-see.

Stars: Loretta Swit, Kenneth Mars, David Alan Grier, William Russ, Saul Stein, Peter Michael Goetz, David Wohl (Stanley Dickler), Dick Shawn lots of other really funny people.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles – Ok, so it’s not really a movie about advertising. But Steve Martin does play an ad guy on his way home from a pitch when he meets the hapless John Candy and his pillows. Enough said.

Stars: Steve Martin and John Candy.

Advertising Rules! - Edward Kaminsky is an aging ad man (aren’t we all) who wants a golden parachute from his agency (don’t we all). The catch – he’s got to land a primo car account first and as such, will do anything and screw (literally) anyone to get it. Note: it’s a German flick for those of you who prefer domestic but not in the way German flicks are often portrayed on South Park.

Stars: Alexander Scheer, Götz George, Chulpan Khamatova, Maria Schrader and Vadim Glowna.

30-Something – It’s not a movie, but it could have been. This is probably the work that is the closest to life at Brandwidth, though Geo is no Ken Olin. Come to think of it, Adam is no Mel Harris. Amazingly well written show and a must-see if you can find the DVD sets.

Stars: Timothy Busfield, Polly Draper, Mel Harris, Peter Horton (who Geo’s wife thinks is hot), Melanie Mayron, Ken Olin and the always outstanding Patricia Wettig, the hottest bug-eyed woman on television, ever.

Bewitched – No discussion about the industry on the screen would be complete without Bewitched (the TV series and not the stupid movie with Will Farrell and leatherface – what’s her name – Nicole Kidman). Wherever I’ve lectured, I’ve been asked if the industry “is really like Bewitched” by at least one student. The answer of course is: absolutely. It’s all magic and misogyny, don’t you know.

Stars: Elizabeth Montgomery, Agnes Moorehead, David White, Dick Sargent (Darren 2) and Dick York (Dick 1) and Diane and Erin Murphy (trivia contest – who did they play in the show?).

MadMen – Speaking of misogyny, this show is a slam-dunk, absolute must-see about the ad game in the age of the “man in the gray flannel suit.” Maybe the best thing on TV since The Sopranos, Deadwood and John From Cincinnati. The characters are so well defined and the writing so, so pristine, this may turn out to be the best portrayal – ever – of our business. Well, except for the account exec with the raisin in his nose from Beer.

Stars: Jon Hamm, Vincent Kartheiser, Elisabeth Moss, John Slattery, Christina Hendricks for Firefly fans and an absolutely amazing ensemble cast.

Okay, so they’re not all movies. And okay, so there are only 9 of them. Simply count MadMen twice and tune in. And please, if you’ve other favorites of your own – particularly if you’ve got some with some decent nudity, explosions and/or professional wrestlers - send them along.

Popcorn on me.

Is there any other industry that likes buzz words and anagrams more than the “ad game”? In our Q-Score, DNK and SNK, OBT, QVC, STD, BVD, integrated marketing, prezo, convert, retain, lather, rinse and repeat world is there anything left that hasn’t been branded so? I don’t have the answer, mind you; I’m just putting that notion out there before introducing you to the notion of “brand response.” As buzz-wordy as it may be, the inherent concept of “brand response” really speaks to the heart of what Brandwidth is – and isn’t.

A lot of folks – from clients to resource partners – have commented about our description of ourselves on our homepage: We’re not a web agency that “does ads too.” We’re not an agency – or worse, a PR firm – that “does websites, too.” We’re more. Of both. (Incidentally, folks really get a rise out of the PR part, what with so many PR firms out there really making a royal cock-up out of their web marketing forays).

What we’re addressing here is the notion that somehow pursuits supporting your branding and your brand ID and image and personality are somehow mutually exclusive from response strategies that actually translate to “attracting” a prospect, ”converting” that prospect to your product or service or sales proposition and then “retaining” that prospect for future business.

I would like to propose that these precepts aren’t mutually exclusive, that one can, indeed enjoy the best of both worlds – branding and a workable response mechanism – and live to tell about it.

Don’t tell that to those “precious” agencies that think affecting some manner of response and results-oriented work for a client is somehow counter to their creative pursuits, detrimental to their creative awards agenda or, worse, “uncool.” And don’t tell that to one of those poor, fumbling PR firms who are still managing to foist the notion that the web is somehow a public relations function. A little strong? A chip on my shoulder? You betcha’. The business is changing, baby, and some folks don’t want to get on the new bus. Or off the old one. Hey, this is my blog and I’m entitled to my opinion and my opinion is: even most traditional agencies who claim to understand the new paradigm – and who say they offer web marketing as a core service – essentially do the cosmetics of creating a home page design or email template and then outsource the rest of it to a web development firm anyway. And at a significant markup to their clients, I might add. And while there are, indeed, a few good shops out there – of which we are one – most traditional agencies (and PR firms) positively suck at creating a strong “integrated” initiative that provides both brand support and response/results.

There, I said it. The point is, marketing expenditures on web-centric, response-driven initiatives are expected to surpass broadcast advertising by 2010. And web marketing is the single fastest-growing medium in the business. The industry simply can’t afford to look at web response and integrated branding and response strategies as mutually exclusive any longer.

Which brings me back to the notion of brand response – the combining of branding initiatives and strategies – sound traditional strategies based on an understanding of your audience, your brand, your competition, compelling creative, good, smart ideas – with the more response-oriented strategies afforded by a web-centric marketing and communication approach or other in-ad response mechanisms (a custom 800# for instance).

That’s what brand response is all about. And that’s where “more” comes from. More good, smart work. More traction with your key targets. More return on your marketing and communications investment. And in a word, more client “satisfaction.”